Help! No Hops!!!

It has only recently come to my attention that there is a worldwide shortage of that flowering plant so precious to me and my fellow beer lovers all over the world, the honorable hop. To say I am distressed may be an overstatement, but I suspect as prices on my favorite brews, typically India Pale Ales (IPAs) begin to rise, my wallet will feel the pain even if my tastebuds do not. Of course I don't wish to pay any more for my beer than necessary, but what concerns me much more is I have read far too many comments from brewmasters suggesting their reaction to this crisis may include modifying recipes. My advice to them, don't go there.

I realize recipes are always open for a little tinkering, but from my perspective the notion of brewers altering formulas as a response to the shortage and concurrent price increase of the time tested bittering agent and flattering flavor enhancer is unnecessary. There are two reasons why I believe this is true.

First, beer drinkers are, generally speaking, loyal. Some, maybe even most, fanatically so. Whether the consumer is an average person drinking an average beer or a craft beer connoisseur, they will usually buy the same beer regularly. The former may never stray while the latter likely brings home a wide variety of brews to sample, yet almost always keeps a cache of a particular favorite in the 'fridge. Let's take me as an example (and why not? I know myself better than I know anyone else!) Even my closest friends could not usually guess which malt beverages might be sitting on my shelves at any single point in time, with one exception. Anyone desperately desiring to watch the head of a Guinness Draft rise toward the rim of a sparkling clean pint glass in all it's frothy glory can find one in my refrigerator nearly any day of the week. But lest I digress in the revelry of that perfect picture, let me ask, why are people so loyal to beers? The answer is simple, consistency. Whether you like Budweiser or not, you know for sure it will always taste the same (assuming it hasn't been stored in the trunk of the car for a week, in which case there may be some, albeit slight and maybe even better, difference.) So to keep at least some order in our otherwise seemingly random lives, beer enthusiasts all across the world cling to the sanctity of finding the same cloying bitterness, the same malty sweetness, even the same bubbly carbonation in our particular favorites. If brewers begin to tamper with those tried and true formulas as a means of adapting to the current shortage then they put at risk our confidence as consumers that their products will meet our expectations. In short, they're gonna mess with our heads. Doesn't strike me as smart business. Which leads to reason number 2.

As can be clearly seen by a quick stroll through most grocery (and even convenience) stores these days, there is an almost dizzying array of malt beverages on the market these days. Mixed among the standard American lagers ( a term I use loosely in this context) by Bud, Miller, Coors, etc, you will likely find a bunch of craft or micro-brews from local brewers and even some from all the way across the country. And unlike the virtually indistinguishable varieties sold by the majors (quick, answer this if you can, what's the point of Bud Light?), the craft breweries combine to produce an assortment of styles which may range from a nice thick stout or porter to some sort of crisp, clean, real lager, and you might even be tempted by a barleywine or the Belgian style framboise that sits beside it. Now the unfortunate consequence of all these choices is that it takes me an extra 15 minutes when grocery shopping as I stand before the beer cooler endlessly debating exactly which flavor(s) will tickle my tastebuds this week. But despite this conundrum I am convinced that brewers and drinkers alike will be better served by the temporary introduction of new products which reflect the availability of hop varieties rather than modifications of our trusted faves.

For example, even if the shortage lasts 2 or 3 years while growers ramp up production, I would rather drink a Dogfish Head "75" which I know won't be the same as their magnificent "90" or see them simply stick to the splendid "60" until supplies return to something reasonable. Or, if necessary, yes, I'll pay $12 for a 4-pack of the "90" because, simply put, I'm a hophead and thus prone to catatonic states if I go too long without the inimitable joy of say, a Cascades or Saaz bouquet wafting up into my nostrils from my freshly filled glass.

Let's hope the brewers hear my message and heed it's call, because if you believe what the experts say, homebrewers may be the ones who feel the pain of this shortage the most. And if that's true, then the last refuge for the concerned consumer may also be in jeopardy. Of course there is one other option. Grow your own. Despite the issues with crops worldwide, the hop is generally a sturdy and indefatigable little bugger, a plant you can grow on the side of your house in a wide variety of climates, or even consider as a cash crop if you're already a farmer. I sure wish I had seen this coming because I would certainly have been happy to contribute my share to ensuring this most vital vegetation was readily available at reasonable cost.